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A Year of Thankfulness

cobbesinead

Updated: Jan 29

 

 

Thankfulness is all the buzz these days and ‘counting your blessings’ has never been cooler. Not only that, but the research shows that being thankful is good for your mood and beneficial to your mental health. The spiritually-inclined folks even have a theory that being thankful attracts even more good things because like attracts like.

Now, I’ll put my cards on the table here: I get a rash every time someone goes on about how blessed they are on Facebook or in conversation ( eyes to heaven). I like my life but I don’t go on about it….but somehow, unknowns to myself, I’ve just finished a year of a daily thankfulness practice and here’s the low down.


HOW IT STARTED

 

It all started last January when I spotted a post on Instagram suggesting the following: you pick a friend and ask them to be your thankful buddy for a month. Each day or evening, you text each other with 3 things that you were grateful or happy for that day. There’s no need to comment ( although you can if you want to), the idea is just share to share them and be accountable to someone. So, I was having lunch with a pal of mine last January, who had a very significant bereavement, and we were saying how hard January can be. I asked her if she would be my thankful buddy for a month as this was something I was thinking of trying…..and she was game. And so it started.

By the time the month finished, I didn’t want to finish so I lined up another friend for March and off we went, sharing and texting. It was proving to be so much fun that I continued for another few months…and somehow it led to a full year. Each month, I was enjoying it so much and getting to spend time with friends ( even if it was a 1 minute text) that I just kept asking people to do the next month with me and they kept saying yes to it.


Now, this kind of surprised me: It’s a nice concept but maybe a bit twee (?)….would people be too cool for it?? The answer was NOT AT ALL. Most people were delighted to be asked, were actively looking forward to it and certainly made all the right noises about how much they were enjoying it too. I was nervous about asking bereaved friends to join me ( would it upset them to be asked? How could I ask them to be thankful when they must be going through a horrible time) but they jumped at the chance to be given the opportunity to see the nice things in life. Out of the twelve people I did this with, only one was dragging their heels a bit and it was obviously not for them. So 11 out of 12 isn’t too bad now, is it?

Overall, it was a win/win situation:  It’s nice to ponder on your day and think of 3 good things, and it’s even better to hear someone else’s.

 

Below, I have a collated some of things that people (including me)were thankful for so you can have a good nose at them. But first: here are the things I noticed about the whole process:


1.      It’s good to do it with someone

While you CAN be thankful on your own, it’s definitely more fun to do it with someone else. It also gives you a bit of discipline to actually DO it every day. You also get reminders: on the days you forget, they probably won’t and vice versa.  It keeps you focused and just a bit accountable: on the boring or bad days, you can’t let up…Dammit, you’ve to dig deep and find your 3 things!

 

2.      You get to spend time with your friend for that month.

There’s something lovely about sharing someone’s daily life, particularly friends that you might only see once or twice a year: for that full month you get a little taster of what their life is like, through the lens of the things that they are grateful for- their mundane days, their great days, the bad ones are all in the mix. So it could be simple things like chocolate or their new sink (!), or bigger things like being grateful that they had some happy moments on a sad day. It’s like being a voyeur, but a nice one!


3.      You get to know your peeps just a little bit better.

I was amazed and often touched at what people were thankful for. Sometimes we picked the simple things in life ( a good newspaper, a fabulous cup of coffee, peace, freedom) and sometimes other things figured like fabulous holidays, new cars, new kitchens. Some people were succinct ( one word sufficed) and others waxed lyrical and I’d a small missal every evening….sweet! Speaking of sweet, most of the things were just so sweet, I got a big warm heart just reading them. Not to mention many belly laughs. 


4.      After a while, you start noticing things all the time that are good or beautiful: I’d be on my way to work in the morning and see a lovely sunrise and my first thought would be: I must remember this in my 3 things. So I guess, it tilts your perspective a bit towards noticing the fun/good things as they occur.


5.      You also start to notice the things you normally take for granted…like a functioning car, or central heating, good water or electricity. The things that are just there tootling along in the background can really mess things up when they are NOT working…so there was many a day when one of my 3 was: my car works and I wasn’t the only one.


6.      It makes you feel quite humble

The backdrop of world events makes people thankful for things like democracy, a decent political system, living in a peaceful country, living without fear, freedom for women…all those things that people had to fight for in our past and are currently fighting for. Things we really should never ever forget but rarely get a chance to be acknowledged in daily life….it’s good to shine the light on them.


7.      Family and food: Dads who worked hard to provide, Mammies for all that they do, spending precious time with elderly parents, sons and daughters- happy for their wins, glad for their safety, hugs.  Fabulous husbands and partners who cook dinner, lovely couch hugs, orgasms (!), kind sisters in law, lovely memories of people gone, thankful for good deaths, times when all the family are together and of course the family dog figured quite a bit. The one that made me LOL was: ‘dog was depressed this morning but mood lifted later and was happy by the evening’- it still makes me laugh. My poor mother-friends also have to mother the family dog!


8.      Food figures highly: from meals being cooked for you, that brilliant cup of coffee at just the right time, getting a sandwich with no mayonnaise coz you hate that, melted Camembert,  a local and brilliant Palestinian restaurant, sandwiches from Sunday leftovers….we enjoy our food and are grateful for it. And we love eating outdoors!


9.      Nature pops up quite a bit: from tulips in spring to beautiful sunrises, sunsets, sea swims, autumn leaves, rainy duvet days, the Northern Lights:  it’s very clear that for a lot of people, nature rocks! It’s the backdrop for each day so it’s lovely to get away from the usual harping on about the rain ( even if it’s justified, let’s face it) and really get to share those things with a listening ear.


10.   You know the saying ‘health is wealth’. Well, health didn’t figure quite so much in general. I think this is a fair indicator that for most of us healthy peeps, health is kind of taken as a given. The only people who mentioned it a bit were friends who had bad health in the past or a family member who had died young, or me because I see poor health with my patients  So having the ability to walk or climb the stairs or to have no pain were nice to hear. But when I start my New Year in February ( it’s kinder than a January start!), I am definitely going to take think about good health a bit more than I do.


11.   Work figured for about a third of people, including me because I’m lucky enough to like my job.. Thankful for a good job, being part-time, successful work events, or grateful for still liking your job after decades of working at it, for your work location,  being able to work from home, flexible hours or a nice office. Also, thankful for funny patients, lovely students or brilliant work colleagues. But for some people, it was time off from work that was the thankful thing! That Friday feeling was flying the flag a few times.


12.   We were also grateful for other people doing their job: the best plumber in the world (mine), the hilarious fridge-man who described how to make marmalade ( and fixed the fridge), the person who fixed the photocopier jam, the kind and funny ambulance man, the brilliant therapist, the really efficient and nice Garda, the kind security man in the supermarket, good hairdressers and beauticians – other people including nice strangers, good neighbours, the usual walkers you meet…. we notice that too.


13.   Friends: belly laughs with friends, good chats with friends, pints with friends, work friends, breakfast with friends, walks with friends , friends who share thankfulness months with us – friends of the world, take your bow….you matter a lot.

 

A YEAR ON...


But is thankfulness all it’s cracked up to be on a daily basis and does it get to be a bit of a drag after a while. More importantly, are there any lasting effects?

Well, the main thing is that it was fun and heartwarming and just plain enjoyable, so that alone makes it worth it. The key to its success, I believe, is the time limit of a month: It didn’t become a drag or a burden to anyone or indeed to me, because I was switching to a new friend every 30 days. There was fresh enthusiasm and pastures new at the start of each month. As to the longer term effects, I don’t know about that yet. What I HAVE noticed though, is that in difficult situations, I am a little bit more likely to search for the silver lining. I even made a ‘win-list’ in the end of 2024 instead of making new year’s resolutions and honestly, it felt much nicer.  I also started to giving a bit of time to celebrate my wins a little more instead of always looking for the next thing to do. Whether this lasts or not…well, I’ll find out, won’t I?

 

Anyway: here’s a small round up of things we were thankful for:

 

February:

Tulips, Ninja foodie, things you laugh about, lazy days and lie-ins, paid annual leave, Denzel Washington, Guinness 0.0 (dry February!), Spring days, fresh cycle to work, sound baths, Ireland win the rugby, electric showers (those of us who grew up without, are still thankful for them!), beach walks alone, good raingear, time to sit and be still, Scotland beat England in rugby, holidays and morning Mimosa, seafood lunch with a view.

 

March:

 Snowy walks, bright at 7.30pm (WooHoo!),  our Mammies, laughs with patients, Limerick bridges lit up, Daisies, plane landing safely for the hols, Daffodils, chats by Barringtons pier, cool new shoes, finding the best curly haircutter (that one was me!), baby lambs, six nations rugby, sneaky naps, golf (not me!), friendly dogs, living in Ireland, Easter time, prawn tagliatelle, getting rid of dandelions from lawn, beautiful babies, choosing not to go out, comfy bed, gluten free diets and how good they make you feel, stage school concert and how it makes you LOL.


April:

Beautiful sunny bright evenings, Electric picnic line-up announced and it’s good, lunchtime spent near river, warming cold feet at the fire, smell of cut grass in the sunshine, swim before work, leaves blowing in the trees, lovely meditation session, baby lambs and foals, otter spotted on a river walk, photocopier jam fixed by someone, belly laughs, warm apple buns, dog hugs, bluebells in the forest, being healthy, hot water bottles ( frankly, I cannot live without mine), sounds of a hedgehog munching, hill walks.

 

May:

Bruce Springsteen, Black and red butterfly spotted, New PJs, tumble dryers (rainy weather),  water fountain sparkling in the sun, sweet and salty popcorn, ability to turn in bed (always grateful for that after working with MND patients for years!), waking at 5.30am to birds singing, the lovely hedgerows, Sunday mornings, happy times with doggie, full day of painting outside (definitely not me), comfy bed, 30 minute walk in nature, the peace of living in the countryside, managing a 5k run, summer vibes, tidy hot press, playing outdoor badminton with nieces, Facebook memories.

 

June:

Outdoors yoga, The Great British Sewing Bee ( def not me), lovely sunny mornings in kitchen, most perfect rainbow ever, ability to cycle to work and save time, beans on toast, family chats in the sun, baby swallows learning to fly, car-singing at the top of lungs, bumble bees, Red wine and Bridgerton, learned to reverse a caravan ( yep, me), dirty Chai Lattes, Shannon Airport, orange juice and champagne for brekkie, being called ‘young lady’ (ok, it was by a very old man…), having the time to read trashy novels,

 

July:

My liver and kidneys, sunshine, driving to work with no traffic, sandals, weekends away, strawberries, drying clothes outside, misty morning walks, long cycles with no rain, fresh fish, rain on caravan roof when cozy inside, the hurling, first sunburn of the year, Wimbledon tennis, work friends, concerts in Thomond Park, chats with neighbours, bucket swing chair, dogs, long hot shower after a lake swim, Clare winning All Ireland ( not me!).


August ( notice rain theme):

Avoided heavy rain on cycle to work, played really good golf in the rain, family time, finding a new handy route around Tralee, no rain today, coffee and cookie after beach walk, watching Olympics, medals for Ireland, clothes dried on line for first time in 2 weeks, walk along 3 bridges and glass of red wine, feeling the heat of the sun, no pesky fruit flies coz weather so bad, dancing my heart out in Electric picnic ( not me unfortunately), Kirsty and Phil, my job.


September:

Long drives to work with good friends doing carpool Kareoke, Spotify, bright evenings..just!, sunny autumn days, foraging nettles and avoided stings, super amazing moon ( the moon figured a lot this month), weekend newspapers, fresh Irish air, Panda licorice, great drying for the laundry, beach walks at lunch time, sun glistening over the Shannon, freezing sunset swims in Doolin, shopping, nothing fell off the caravan this weekend( she’s old, so it happens!), organic potato mash and good sausages, Jo Malone scented fig candle, trees turning red, Strictly.


October:

Autumn sunshine, collecting conkers, going on a 4-day week and having Princess Fridays, somatics,  getting the car valeted (erm…not me, you should see my car), being back in boots, still wearing flipflops (au contraire), Murder She Wrote, 12 O Clock hills and Sunyata, freshly ironed bedding, gardening with the Mammy, a clear week with no commitments, Beetroot, meeting John Banville, local Palestinian restaurant, wildflowers, Friday cocktails, first fire of the winter, Carvaggio in a church in Malta (alas, not me…), technology, me time.


November:

Walking in the rain (!), flexible working hours, beautiful singing at mass, reflexology, lovely neighbours, morning foggy walks, my stomach works ( I'd a patient who can only have protein drinks), warm gloves, humour, lovely views of the med from holiday balcony, sun on the bones, water, motivation and ability to go walking, the gift of patience, money to buy a bottle of wine, binge-watching TV, flying into Shannon airport, warm home, glorious autumn day, Glenstal Abbey.


December:

Pints of Guinness with friends, healthy and happy cat, health, finishing my win list and being happy with it, finishing laundry, meditation, having no back pain, couch and fire, having a good education, oranges ( epic in December), early morning misty walk, good socks, a day alone reading, dry on Christmas Day, being safe, lovely doggy smell, practicing flute for first time in years, choice, the library, grooming the dog, beautiful night sky, veg box delivered to the door, hope, being able to ski.


January:

Fire on a rainy day, good yoga classes, sleep, friend out of hospital, chicken and chips from the takeaway, finding my phone, hugs, beautiful deep red sunset, Vivaldi’s Four Seasons by candlelight in cathedral, fixing a work conundrum, sticking to new year boundaries I set, amazing purple clouds on way to work, Google maps, my travel cup, the moon, learning how to be instead of do, talking shite with friends, our health service, ability to breathe, being on the dry, pickled gerkins, funny videos on YouTube.

 

Hope you enjoyed the snoop. Now, go try it and spread the word!


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